This is what I wrote in response to Saturdays photo prompt (first draft)…..
Helen watched the happy scene through the window as she stood outside number 22 Hague Avenue. Christmas Eve and bitterly cold, the desire to ring the doorbell was overwhelming. But, she remained rooted to the icy pavement beneath her feet.
Had she made the right choice 2 years ago? It was one of those forced situations in life where the decision had been unbearable.
She watched, transfixed, as the man lifted the small boy into the air. “Bobby” she mouthed as her eyes filled with tears. The boy laughed and giggled. He had changed so much, but that was inevitable, she hadn’t seen him since he was 6 months old. It took all her willpower to keep her arms by her side. A mothers natural urge to reach out and hold her baby. Helen slumped to the ground and silently wept.
She knew John would be a good father. Had been confident that Bobby would have a great life. But she couldn’t help wondering if Johns heart was still broken. Did he still love her and yearn for her as much as she did for him? The thought of him getting on with his life, finding someone else, was tortuous. What would he tell Bobby about her death? Would he tell him about the tragic accident where her body had been so badly mutilated she was unidentifiable by anything other than her dental records.
Pulling herself up she stood silently at the gate. Blowing a kiss towards the window, she turned, and tiptoed down the street to the waiting car.
“Are you ok?” The Agent asked, as Helen got into the passenger seat beside him.
Not really sure where this is going, I guess I could go back in time to explain how she got to that point? Or just carry it on with her new life? Fast forward to the future? Any thoughts? 🙂
The View Outside 
intriguing – would love to know the back story
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I’m thinking along the lines that she’s had to disappear to protect her husband and son. So that the baddies think she’s dead 😉
Xx
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is she in witness protection – I find this very interesting — worthy of pursuing and heartbreaking
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I’m thinking that she has had to pretend she’s dead, for some reason to protect her husband and son. Perhaps she was a special Agent/spy and someone found out her identity, I dunno, something along those lines anyway lol. I think if it was witness protection, the whole family would be relocated.
Oh gawd yeah, I can only imagine what that would be like, not being able to see your own child be ause if you do, you put them in danger 😦
Xx
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cool concept though
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I love this! 🙂
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Awwwww, thanks hon 🙂
Xx
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Ooooo I think you should do both lol show where she’s going, but dart back to explain how she got there 🙂 xxx
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Yeah, I guess I could….I’m not very good with the whole crime thing. Too many procedures en stuff that I wouldn’t know where to start lol
Xx
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Make it a true love story , how she’s done all of this to protect her family. But maybe her brother has got in with a bad crowd, owes them lots of money and he’s used her as the guarantour and as they can’t get money they wanted blood – lol wow not sure where that idea came from lol think I need to go and lie down lol hope the ankles are getting better :0)
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Ha ha ha, well, there you go, YOU WRITE IT! 🙂
Are you doing Nano in November?
No change on the feet….yet….. 😉
Xx
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What’s Nano?
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http://www.nanowrimo.org (I think)
Write a novel in a month, November, great fun! This will be my 3rd year!
I’ve just applied to be a Co ML (like a regional coordinator who helps newbies and arranges meets etc). Really looking forward to it!!!! 🙂
Xx
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ooo, I’m not sure I could write a novel in a year, let alone in a month lol, but let us know how it goes 🙂 Mind you I sometimes think I should go and do some sort of course on writing, but never get round to doing it lol
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Sam, it was because of Nano 2010 that I’m writing. I had only written 1 piece since leaving school, the madly decided to do Nano 2010. I did 50,000 words in just over 2 weeks!!!!!
It just gushed out of me. I had no plan, no plot, no outline, just an idea 😉
What I say to people is, even if you don’t complete it, ie do 50,000 words, even if you only do 5,000, that’s 5,000 more than you had in the previous month 🙂
Xx
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That sounds so tempting, but, I’m not sure I’ve got what it takes to write a story!! I’m more of a diary writing kind of girl lol 🙂
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So was I until 2010 😉
Xx
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How much does it cost?
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Nothing Sam, it’s FREE 🙂
Xx
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Even better 🙂 tell me more :0)
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Go have a look at the site Sam 🙂
Xx
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An explanation about the past, then a fast forward to the future :o) x
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Thanks honey 🙂
Xx
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I agree I want to know who made up the death story and what will happen now she has found them!!!
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Ahhhhhh, interesting. Sooooo, she’s been held against her will somewhere, and she returns to find her hubby has been told she’s dead….hmmmmm, yeah, that could work….what would you do?
Xx
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Love this, Intriguing. I want to know the rest of the story. 🙂
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Ha ha ha, be my guest…..write it 🙂
Xx
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I wanted to read more!
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Lol, awwwww, sorry honey, that’s it at the moment…..I’m great on starting stories, not so good on completing them 😉
Xx
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great stuff, the future with flash backs. Maybe she has to rescue them again as someone finds out where she is. so Is this another novel idea?
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Thanks luv 🙂
Oooooo, interesting 😉
Oh, you know me, I have novel ideas coming out of my ear ‘oles lol. I guess it could be, but I’ve got sooooo many story starts now, I couldn’t possibly do all of them 😉
Xx
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Oh this is interesting! This would make a great long piece.
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Thanks honey, yes, it would 🙂
Maybe one day 😉
Xx
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Whatever it is she is running from is catching up with her, move through the present flashing back to the past maybe in dream sequences
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Oooooooo, sounds interesting…..go for it 😉
Xx
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yep, I agree, I need to find out what happens. How about she really is dead? Want to write a ghost story?
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Hmmmmm, could do….reminds me of that Nicole Kidman film, The Others, where you don’t realise she’s a ghost herself until towards the end…..whoops, sorry if you haven’t seen it lol.
Great ‘concept’ though 🙂
Xx
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Well done. Grabbed interest and wondering….
Go forward in the story – once in a while have little glimpses why she acts as she does (a comment here and there – like she mentions her nail polish color, how she would have never worn this color before or had she really been happy with only dept store brand shoes and markdowns or it took her breath away for a moment – that men’s cologne jolted her memory)…finally the reader can piece her past all together at the end of the main story?
It is a very good start
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Wow, thanks hon 🙂
Some great ideas there!
Xx
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I like this, Vikki. You could take it in several directions. One small thing that tripped me up at the beginning: ‘Christmas Eve and bitterly cold, the desire to ring the doorbell was overwhelming.’ – grammatically this isn’t right. It sounds as though Christmas Eve wants to ring the doorbell. You need to rephrase it.
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Thanks Sue 🙂
Ahhhh, yeah, I see what you mean. It does need an edit 😉
Thank you!
Xx
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