Insecure Writers Support Day – October

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It’s Alex J Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writers Support Group day. It seems to have come round so quickly this month lol.

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Last month, you may remember, I posted a fairly positive post, still on a huge high from Swanwick. Unfortunately, it’s kinda worn off now lol 😉

This months IWSG post falls 12 days before I attend my first class at The Faber Academy *gulp* I was managing to stay positive, keeping a smile on my face if it was ever mentioned, and have spent the last month trying to convince myself I’m excited. Ok, yes I am excited, but I’m also as nervous as hell…..and as the days pass I just know it’s going to get worse 😦

I’ve never considered myself a confident person, have always struggled when it came to walking into a room of strangers. So Monday the 15th of October is lining up to be my worst nightmare! A room of 26 people writers, who I’ve never met before, who will all be sooooo much more talented than I am…..shit, what have I done! Lol 😦

There’s all that handshaking and remembering people’s names. The fear as to whether the tutor will like me (or take an instant dislike to me!) and bloody hell WHAT DO I WEAR????? I bet a big spot comes up on my nose the night before or I’ll arrive having spilt coffee down my front *sighs* 😦 Oh gawd, I’ll have to put my posh voice on too! Lol

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photo courtesy of nokhoog_buchachon/freedigitalphotos.net

I’m feeling well out of my depth here. I don’t want them to think I’m a bored little house wife who thinks she might be able to write a book. I’ve not had anything published, I don’t have this huge long CV of all my “writing” achievements, and let’s face it, my work isn’t exactly what you’d call “literary” lol.

Yes, I know I got onto the course because they saw something in the piece I submitted, but I also have this little voice inside my head that says “they didn’t have many people apply this year” or “the quality of work that was submitted this year was dire” LMAO! I have to laugh or I’ll cry!

So, what to do? I could just curl up in a ball and cry? Shout and scream at the husband (“it’s all your fault, you persuaded me to apply why did I listen to you?”)? Fein an illness on the first day? Or i could just send them an e mail saying its all been a huge mistake?

Any coping strategies would be much appreciated I need help, before I have no finger nails left 😉

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65 thoughts on “Insecure Writers Support Day – October”

  2. I remember feeling nervous before going to a writers’ group or conference. There are great writers in the world. Usually, I sit back and listen to other people talk before–if ever–I open my big mouth. I either wait for the right moment or when I am asked. I don’t have a good reason for it, but it is what I am most comfortable with.

    You are an excellent writer! I wondered last year, “Who am I – a stay-at-home mom, substitute teacher and freelance writer – to say I am a writer?” Then I discovered how blessed I was. You really are talented and you’ll do great!

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    • Thanks Becca 🙂

      I am exactly the same….if I don’t feel that I have something valuable to contribute, I keep my mouth shut 😉

      Thank you so much honey 🙂 I think I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself, in the fact that I’m determined to have achieved something by the end of this course. Perhaps I should just try to be a bit more chilled about it 😉

      Xx

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  3. Just keep in mind – most of them are thinking the same thing!
    Bet you’ll have name tags. No need to worry about that then.
    Dress comfortable and casual.
    And don’t worry you haven’t had anything else published. That does not indicate talent. Nor ambition or drive.
    Before my first book came out, I had nothing else published. And it seemed every science fiction author out there had dozens of short stories and articles published before their first book. I had – nothing! I wondered what the heck I was doing – I wasn’t a writer, I was just Alex. (And I can send you the link to the post I did called “I’m just Alex!”) But it was all right and no one judged me.
    No one will judge you either.

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  4. Just think of it like the first day of primary school. You walk in with all the insecurities you can dream up in your head and as soon as things get going all that will melt away. Everyone will be feeling it, too. Just remember we are all behind you and we believe in you. And if a room full of “writers” don’t recognize you are one of them, then you are in the wrong group. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. I am seriously thinking about moving to England to have the opportunity to participate I all the workshops you have been so fortunate to attend.

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  5. Or you could just go and it’ll all be okay. Our frantic worries sound similar (even if the topic is different). We all feel a little inadequate, but it would be a shame to let fear hold us back from fulfilling a dream. So press on go to your meeting. I have a feeling you won’t regret the end result (even if the parts getting to the end aren’t so fun) 🙂

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    • Ha ha ha, you know, I think I might just do that CC 😉

      Thanks honey, yes, you’re right, as I’m always telling other people, lol, it’s all part of the journey, and if this is really what I want I’ve got to grit my teeth and get through the uncomfortable bits 😉

      Thanks honey

      Xx

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  6. I’m a horribly shy person, but when I get in front of a group like this, I turn into the class clown… 🙂 Just wear something in which you’re comfortable (unless there is some sort of dress code), be yourself, be friendly and kind, and be ready to learn. “They’re more scared of you than you are of them…” You’ll do GREAT.

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    • Ha ha ha, I am no way a class clown, good for you though Katy! 🙂

      They haven’t said anything about a dress code, but, this is Bloomsbury in London, so I’m not sure jeans and trainers would be a good idea lol. I’ll try to dig out something fairly smart, but comfortable 🙂

      Thanks honey 🙂

      Xx

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  7. Aww, Vicki, you’re going to do fine! You are always so genuine and down-to-earth in your posts. I am certain that is one of the qualities of your writing that got you into this class. Just remember that we all started out somewhere, and if those writers aren’t beginners themselves, they were once exactly where you are now. They will welcome you.

    That’s not to say that I’ve gotten past my own fears. At the first Nanowrimo write-in I ever went to I walked in late because I got lost. Then, once I settled in, my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn’t even type! I was sure that everyone else was writing this great novel and all I could do was freewrite because I was so wound up. I had to type though, because if I didn’t, everyone would know I was a nervous wreck. I wanted to sink into the ground!
    (Turned out everyone was super-nice though. 🙂 )
    Wear something that makes you feel confident. Wear what you would wear to your first book signing!

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    • Awwwww, thanks Kirsten 🙂 Oh crumbs, I wonder if they looked at my blog! Lol 😉

      Awwwww, bless you! 🙂

      Something that makes me feel confident? Hmmmm *thinks* …..red! Wearing red always makes me feel confident 🙂

      Thanks honey 🙂

      Xx

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  8. I think all the advice and support you’ve already been given is spot on. Everyone is likely to be feeling the same way. Even if you don’t have name tags, no one will remember all names. Don’t forget to take a bottle of water in with you, nerves tend to make your mouth go dry. You deserve to be there. Enjoy it. I look forward to hearing all about it!

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    • Thanks Rebecca 🙂

      Aren’t my fellow blogging writers wonderful! I knew you’d all “G” me up and wag your fingers 😉

      Ahhhhh, yes, thanks honey, there’s a cafe across the road, so I will make sure I get a bottle of water before I go in 🙂

      Xx

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  9. In the words of the great Susan Jeffers: “Feel the fear, and do it anyway.” Don’t try too hard to make the fear go away, Vikki, because it won’t 😉 Just go with it, accept that anything that means a lot to you and is worth the challenge will be scary, and take all the excellent advice above to get you through the first day. x Jo

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  11. I can imagine how you are feeling about going but I’m sure once you get chatting to other writers you will feel much calmer. Even if you have never had anything published they liked what they read or you wouldn’t be going. London, what to wear, yes understandably nervous but I’m looking forward to reading about how it all goes. Good luck!!

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  12. Having read all messages, I agree with all comments and have one thing to say Mrs Thompson… Be yourself. There, that takes care of everything :o) x

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  14. Wow you sound so like me. Lol just remember all the brilliant things you have done. You may not have written a published book, but your blog keeps so many people entertained each day, that to me is better than writing a book as you need fresh ideas coming at you all the time. Just remember we are all behind you and with you in spirt if not in body:D looking forward to hearing all about it on your return.

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  15. It’s good to be a bit nervous – means you will be fab! Recall the William James quote – to live in “day-tight compartments” so try to focus on what you are doing now rather than the course – anything you are nervous about generally works out well once you are there… Will be thinking of you and am sure you will have a great time xx

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  16. Pingback: Insecure Writers Support Group Day – October | Joanne Phillips – a writer's journey

  17. Ms Vikki – You can do this – if I, the most awkward of awkwardness do things like this, so can you–and the reason you are there is because they saw worth in your submission — you have to keep busy and just not think about it–and I agree with a commenter above, if you were not nervous then it is not worthwhile

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  18. There are so many good tips in the comments!

    Be yourself. If you’re nervous tell them, because they’ll probably all scream out “So am I!”. Just remember they are only people and no one is ‘better’ than you are 😀

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    • There are Dianne, and I am soooo grateful for each and every comment 🙂

      Thanks honey, that’s not a bad idea! The first session is an introduction, so I’m sure there will be one of those ‘lets go round the room and introduce ourselves’ parts. I think I’ll start with “Hi, I’m Vikki, and I’m as nervous as hell” lol 😉

      Xx

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  19. I don’t think there’s much more advice that I can give than has been given here already. You’ve passed the first stage of being accepted so just go with it. Try not to worry too much leading up to the start, easier said than done I know, because once you’re there and doing it, it’ll all disappear and all that will be left is enjoyment.

    Good luck! I look forward to reading about your progress.

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  20. Aw, I would be in the same boat. I get panicky sometimes when it comes to meeting a whole group of new people. It’s awesome you’re doing this! You got accepted for a reason, and I personally really enjoy your writing.

    I am confident you will have a great time. 🙂

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  21. Visiting from IWSG. *waves*

    I’d be freaking out. LOL I’m not much help, huh? 😀
    Maybe think … they’ve been where you are before so they’ll know how you feel. Or maybe they’ll be experiencing similar feelings.

    Wish you all the best!

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  22. Hello from IWSG! I say just be yourself! If you feel like you’re nervous chances are others will be too. I’m sure you’ll be fine!

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  23. Pingback: Insecure Writers Support Group « Poeta Officium

  24. I really appreciated your comments today. Thank you.

    This is exactly how I felt the first time i went to a CP group at my first convention. They tore me apart. I wanted to quit right then, but I was like, I could run or learn from this. If you got in, own it and be yourself. If you love writing, you’ll find mingling with like-goaled folks to be easier than imagined. Best of luck to you! 🙂

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  25. Hi Vikki
    There was a time in my life when I feared public speaking. I overcame that by selling Tupperware. I got so good I drove a free car. That aside. I’d practice in front of the mirror and try not to be so critical of yourself. Remember, humor is a good tool to make people relax.
    Nancy

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  26. Everyone else there is probably going to feel the same way you do, so just rise above. I know…easier said than done, but you can do it! 🙂

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  27. Wear something red. And look directly in the other person’s eyes when they are talking. And think of a couple of questions to ask people to get them talking so you don’t have to do anything but smile and nod…(like maybe “how old were you when you wrote your first story? What is your favorite title that you ever created? Who is your favorite writer and why? What writer do you think you write like?)
    You’ll do fine. They are probably worried about the same thing…except that one annoying person who thinks they are the most talented person in the world…there’s one in every group – do not sit next to them…too annoying!

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    • I LOVE red, so that won’t be too hard 😉 As for looking people directly in the eye, oooooo, I’m so crap at that! Lol

      Good idea about the questions, thanks honey 🙂

      Ha ha ha, oh yes, you always get one don’t you!

      Thanks honey xx

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  28. I am sure that feeling that way is normal. Anyone who goes in thinking ‘I am a literary genius among writers’ is not being realistic. It seems like a really good experience. Chin up. You will be fine. Love your blog. Cheers

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  29. Some really great responses on here! The night before an event that usually sends me into panic mode, I meditate,works most times. Wear something you like and are comfortable in.Be yourself and you will shine! 🙂

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  30. Don’t let this interfere with your capacity to enjoy the course and learn from it! I’ve attended a Faber Academy 3 day course myself (and a one day one) and they are really good at making you feel welcome and special. And I learnt so much on it, even though I came home convinced that everyone was a much better writer than me (which, you know, in my more rational moments, I do realise was probably an exaggeration…). Good luck – and there is a good cafe and cupcake place nearby if it all gets too much!

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  31. As if you need any more comments on this one!

    Want the lazy way to be supported?
    I’ll pray for you. (meaning tag your name, and woe to a robotic recited trite eulogy feeling, scheduled, cop out.

    Or, I could do the harder thing. Not tell you I’ll pray for you. And actually allow myself to be excited by your adventure! I feel you emerging quest complete from this right of passage! I hold the space of growing confidence and delight of you, for you. Looking forward to sharing your journey!
    Your vulnerability is delightful.

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  32. Wow, though I know nothing about this class you’ve gotten into, it sounds like a great honor. I do understand about not feeling worthy of that sort of thing. But if you got picked, you deserve to be there. One of my ways of dealing with situations where I feel out of my depth is to pretend I’m an actress playing a part. (I used to do theater stuff in school). I put on my “I’m a good writer and was chosen for this” outfit (which since it’s a costume, can be anything you’re comfy in) and then walk in “playing” my part. It really works.
    Thanks so much for your encouragement to me this week, my first time at the IWSG.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/

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