22 Hague Avenue


This is what I wrote in response to Saturdays photo prompt (first draft)…..

Helen watched the happy scene through the window as she stood outside number 22 Hague Avenue. Christmas Eve and bitterly cold, the desire to ring the doorbell was overwhelming. But, she remained rooted to the icy pavement beneath her feet.

Had she made the right choice 2 years ago? It was one of those forced situations in life where the decision had been unbearable.

She watched, transfixed, as the man lifted the small boy into the air. “Bobby” she mouthed as her eyes filled with tears. The boy laughed and giggled. He had changed so much, but that was inevitable, she hadn’t seen him since he was 6 months old. It took all her willpower to keep her arms by her side. A mothers natural urge to reach out and hold her baby. Helen slumped to the ground and silently wept.

She knew John would be a good father. Had been confident that Bobby would have a great life. But she couldn’t help wondering if Johns heart was still broken. Did he still love her and yearn for her as much as she did for him? The thought of him getting on with his life, finding someone else, was tortuous. What would he tell Bobby about her death? Would he tell him about the tragic accident where her body had been so badly mutilated she was unidentifiable by anything other than her dental records.

Pulling herself up she stood silently at the gate. Blowing a kiss towards the window, she turned, and tiptoed down the street to the waiting car.

“Are you ok?” The Agent asked, as Helen got into the passenger seat beside him.

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Not really sure where this is going, I guess I could go back in time to explain how she got to that point? Or just carry it on with her new life? Fast forward to the future? Any thoughts? πŸ™‚

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41 thoughts on “22 Hague Avenue

  1. great stuff, the future with flash backs. Maybe she has to rescue them again as someone finds out where she is. so Is this another novel idea?

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    • Thanks luv πŸ™‚

      Oooooo, interesting πŸ˜‰

      Oh, you know me, I have novel ideas coming out of my ear ‘oles lol. I guess it could be, but I’ve got sooooo many story starts now, I couldn’t possibly do all of them πŸ˜‰

      Xx

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    • Hmmmmm, could do….reminds me of that Nicole Kidman film, The Others, where you don’t realise she’s a ghost herself until towards the end…..whoops, sorry if you haven’t seen it lol.

      Great ‘concept’ though πŸ™‚

      Xx

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  2. Well done. Grabbed interest and wondering….
    Go forward in the story – once in a while have little glimpses why she acts as she does (a comment here and there – like she mentions her nail polish color, how she would have never worn this color before or had she really been happy with only dept store brand shoes and markdowns or it took her breath away for a moment – that men’s cologne jolted her memory)…finally the reader can piece her past all together at the end of the main story?
    It is a very good start

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  3. I like this, Vikki. You could take it in several directions. One small thing that tripped me up at the beginning: ‘Christmas Eve and bitterly cold, the desire to ring the doorbell was overwhelming.’ – grammatically this isn’t right. It sounds as though Christmas Eve wants to ring the doorbell. You need to rephrase it.

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