Good morning from a very dreary looking Kent. Todays letter on the A-Z Challenge is V…
…and the random word thats been chosen for me today is Vengeance… *rubs hands together* I do love a bit of payback 😉
Today I’m going along the lines of a mini play 🙂
Location: A small coffee shop.
Hazel (plump, early 50’s, well groomed) is sitting at a table reading a book waiting for her friend Diane (very slim, early 50’s, elegant) to arrive. Old friends, their busy schedules only allow them to meet up every couple of months but they text each other regularly.
Diane rushes into the cafe and Hazel stands. The 2 women hug.
Hazel: Darling! How are you?
Diane frowns and throws her bag on a chair.
Diane: I need caffeine!
She calls to the Barista and both women sit down.
Diane: Americano, extra shot please.
Sura Nualpradid @ FreeDigitalPhotos
Hazel: What a nasty business Darling, are you ok?
Hazel reaches over and pats Diane’s hand.
Diane: I knew there was something wrong months ago Hazel, I just didn’t want to admit it.
Hazel: Oh darling, of course not, how awful. So what happened?
The Barista brings over a large cup of coffee and Diane takes a large gulp.
Diane: His secretary.
Hazel: No! Good heavens! That mousey little creature with the funny walk? She’s only in her 20’s isn’t she? Well, I’m shocked Darling, really I am.
Diane: 20 years I gave to that man, 20 years Hazel.
Hazel: I know Darling, I know. Cake?
Diane shakes her head.
Hazel: And how are the girls taking it?
Diane: Well, you know Charlotte, very pragmatic, but Harriet, she’s refusing to even speak to her father.
Hazel: Oh, so he’s not at home?
Diane: Oh no! He went last Tuesday. I told him it was her or me, make your choice.
Diane: No, actually it’s not been too bad. I was devastated at first, obviously. But, I’ve been able to watch what I want on TV and the extra space I have in the wardrobe!
Hazel smiles and nods knowingly.
Diane: But I would have loved to see her face when I took his belongings round to her tiny little terraced.
Hazel: You took his stuff round to hers?
Diane: Oh yes! I put all his clothes in black bags and his books and other rubbish in boxes. Harriet came with me. We just left it all on her front lawn.
Hazel: You never did!
Diane: But the best bit is I put his Vascetomy certificate, his verruca ointment, his athletes foot cream, nasal hair trimmer and TENA Pants right on top!
Hazel: Oh excellent Darling! TENA pants?
Hazel is repulsed.
Diane: Do you know what Hazel, I think I will have that piece of cake, or even an Almond Croissant, I think I’ve earned it.
He he he! Go Diane! Sorry this is probably not set out correctly. I hope you were able to follow it ok 🙂
Hell hath no fury like a woman’s corns or something like that. Tena pants eh, poor chap. Richly deserved fate though.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
Thanks David 🙂 xx
Go girl! Yes, well done. The script was chatty, catty and puurfect. He got off lightly – she forgot to include his hair dye and over 50’s vitamins!
love Sue X
Thanks Sue, he did…but if he doesn’t play ball in the divorce settlement (thats if the secretary still wants him?) then Diane may just have a few more tricks up her sleeve 😉
Love it! Nasal hair clippers and TENA pants!
Thanks Barbara 🙂 xx
Love it 😀 just received this months Degusta box it is not going to help my diet lol
Thanks Paula 🙂 Oh yes, got mine yesterday too…i see what you mean lol xx
I woul some Viagra to that d’ve added delivery, along with some sadistic type of porn magazines, something for her to think about and enjoy. 🙂 Great post.
To stopping by to the A-to-Z.
Ha ha ha, oh, of course Debi, Viagra! Damn, missed that 😉 Thanks honey, and thanks for stopping by 🙂 xx
I had to look up TENA pants. That is now in my search history.
I get the feeling that this might be only the beginning of Diane’s vengeance. It seems like there’s more that she could do to him.
Ha ha ha…you and me both Lyle…i had to search “incontinence products for men” lol 😉
Thanks honey xx
Great! I love it!
Thanks Franny 🙂 xx
That was funny! I had to look up what a verruca was and whether Tena made a men’s product (they market almost exclusively to women in this country), and that just made it funnier!
Thanks John 🙂 Yes, i didn’t know if they did mens products so i had to search it too. I guess i could have just put “incontinence” pants, but she wouldn’t have said that 😉
Haha. Still sitting here with a smile on my face, but also, I must admit, a feeling of sadness for Diane. Twenty years and to not know the (smallness) of the character of the man. UGH.
Hi Pam 🙂
He he he…thanks honey, glad to hear it made you smile, but yeah, i know, its also tinged with sadness. I think if we had seen Diane and Hazel meet up the week before Diane would have been a complete wreck 😦
Sometimes karma doesn’t work, and people have to get revenge themselves. 😉
Exactly Madeline! 🙂 Thanks honey xx